DBZ and KoRn's Wacky Senseless Adventure!!!
by A Son of the Northern Darkness
Summary: During a benefit concert for "Children Who Can't Read" KoRn's lead singer Jon gets kidnapped and the DBZ people must find him Special Guest Author:Wicked Lady
1. Jon Goes Bye-Bye

Carson Daily:Here we are the at the Black Forest benefit concert for "Children who can't read good" and it already seems to be drawing a large crowd which probably consists of mostly people who can't read and here to help with coverage is Kurt Loder  
Kurt Loder:{mumbles some stuff incoherently}  
Carson:Yeah that is the mood here at the concert today and now more abou the acts appearing today headlining the event is Rob Zombie and KoRn along with heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne also playing is Met..wait we've just been handed this press release Metallica can't play because they're to busy suing everyone and wait we've just been sued because we said their name  
Kurt:{yells while Carson is still talking}Turn that music down you punks  
Carson:they're not playing yet  
Kurt:Don't back talk your grandpappy Billy  
Carson:my names Carson  
  
{The DBZ people are down near the front row}  
  
Goku:{trys to crowd surf but there is not yet a mosh pit so he falls flat on his face}  
Gohan:did you hear that fucking fuck shit Metallica's suing MTV  
Vegeta:I'll fucking break Metallica's godamn necks  
Man in suit:{walks up and hands them each court dates}  
Gohan:What the fucking fuck is this?  
Man in suit:you are being sued by Metallica for use of their name without proper copyright laws  
Vegeta:goddammit!  
{the lights on the stage flash and several strobe lights appear causing Chazou to have a seizure and his head explodes as he screams but no one can hear him because hes a mime and Rob Zombie appears on the stage and starts his set with Meet The Creeper}  
Goku:{jumps into the mosh pit and is finally able to crowd surf but is dropped and nearly stomped to death but manages to crawl out bloody}  
  
{Rob Zombie finishes with his set and disappears before KoRn takes the stage and begins with Freak On A Leash}  
Jonathan:{slams his bagpipes against the ground like a guitar and hits Munky after swinging them around}  
Munky:ahh damnit Jon  
Jonathan:{stumbles back and a smoke cloud appears everyone thinks its part of the show and they laugh and when the cloud is gone so is Jon}  
Head:Fuck where'd he go  
Fieldy:{spots large shoe shaped tracks}oh no big foot kidnapped Jon and he's taken him back to make him a love slave  
David:Damnit Fieldy! I said no more pot and supermarket tabloids before the concerts ever again  
Fieldy:{throws his bass down and hops off stage running into the crowd screaming gibberish}  
Munky:{rubs his head}so what are we gonna do we can't play without Jon  
Head:{spots Goku and the others}look its our friends  
{a sudden boom knocks KoRn off stage and in their place stands Marilyn Manson and The Beautiful People can be heard somewhere in the background}  
Marilyn:Foolish mortals we have kidnapped your precious Jon{Manson flickers some revealing he is a hologram}..damnit Twiggy hold the camera still  
Twiggy:sorry  
Marilyn:ok now where were we oh yeah{laughs evilly}we have taken Jon and we will not give him back until you meet our demands 1.I want more make up 2.Twiggy wants 6 dollars 3.We want the head of the Zombie and 4.We want a pair of pants..  
Twiggy:{whispers}comfortable pants  
Marilyn:Comfortable pants!  
Twiggy:{whispers again}with pockets large ones  
Marilyn:With large pockets and possibly a belt it doesn't have to be leather just something simple for when we want to go out you know{disappears from the stage}  
  
Carson:for those of you just joining us Jon Davis was kidnapped earlier today and we have just recieved a transmission from Marilyn Manson with a list of demands if Jon is to be returned we are hoping you the people will help in the donation of these items make up, 6 dollars, the head of Rob Zombie, and of course the hardest to obtain item a pair of comfortable pants with large pockets and a casual belt for when you just need something to hold your pants up and now we go live backstage with Ozzy Osbourne  
  
{Carson appears backstage with Ozzy}  
Carson:Do you intend to meet with Mansons demands  
Ozzy:We will not deal with terrorists besides I know Manson and even he is not this evil he must truly be a pawn in a greater scheme of things  
Carson:What about Rob he is supposed to perfrom later today with tracks from his new CD do you think he'll still perform after Mansons threats  
Ozzy:I know Rob also and he will perform because he has a special place in his heart for children who can't read good and he will do everything in his power to help them  
Carson:What about you do you plan to still perform?  
Ozzy:I will..eventually but what comes first is making sure Jon is returned safely until then whoever kidnapped him if you're watching{pulls out a bat and bites its head off}thats gonna be you  
Carson and everyone watching MTV:{throw up}  
  
{Carson is once again outside talking to KoRn and the DBZ people}  
Carson:I understand that you all will be spearheading the search for Jon  
Gohan:Fucking fuck of a fucked fuck yes!  
Carson:you can't say that on tv  
Vegeta:Fuck off mr.fucking fuck face with a microphone thinks he's all cool with his camera guy oooh  
Carson:We'll be right back 


	2. Horny Little Fox Demons and The Barcodes...

Chapter 2 is brought to you by Wicked Lady and viewers like you  
  
Shippo: Oh I'm drivin' a Truck. Drivin a big ol' truck. Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck. Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn. Drivin' a truck with my...What the? {screeches to a halt upon nearly running a guy over} Watch where you're goin'!  
Fieldy: Sorry, but my friend Jon has been kidnapped by bigfoot to be made a loveslave. I need to find him before that happens!  
Shippo: Ya don't say. It's the weirdest thing, but something like that happened to a friend of mine.  
Fieldy: What happened?  
Shippo: Hell if I know. We never bothered to look for him  
Fieldy: Oh...Well, can you give me a ride? We can drive around and look for Jon and if we find your friend too, then we'll be even  
Shippo: {thinks} Ok, but you pay for gas  
  
{Meanwhile, with the rest of KoRn and the DBZ people}  
David: This is just great. First Jon is kidnapped, then Fieldy runs off by himself!  
Munky: It's ok. There's a tracking device on the back of our necks. We'll just use Jon's computer to find Fieldy  
{Everyone stares at Munky}  
Trunks: Shouldn't we use it to find Jon first? I mean, Fieldy's nice and all, but he wasn't kidnapped by a guy with feet the size of a house  
Munky: Jon doesn't have one! He's the one that put them on the rest of us  
Head: So that's why he keeps shoving our heads under those scanner things at K-Mart?  
Munky: Yep. He does that to make sure they still work.  
  
{Back with Fieldy and Shippo}  
Fieldy: Stop the truck!  
Shippo: What the hell for?  
Fieldy: Girl in Miniskirt  
{Both stare at Sailor Venus}  
Fieldy: {Jumps out of the truck in front of Venus} Hey. Long time no see  
Venus: Hey Fieldy! The girls and I have missed you.  
Fieldy: I'm a missable guy  
Shippo: {Jumps from the truck and hugs Venus's leg} Hey babe. Nice ta see ya  
Venus: Uh...a little kid is hugging my legs.  
Shippo: I'm bigger then you'd think babe  
{Fieldy laughs as Venus tries to guess what that meant}  
Shippo: I can see up your skirt  
Venus: Ecchi! {Stomps Shippo's head}  
  
{Suddenly, the other scoust come up for no reason what so ever!}  
  
Moon: A PUPPY! {Hugs Shippo to her chest} he's SO CUTE!  
Shippo: I'm not a puppy, but I'd gladly be one if you want  
Moon: AH! A talking thing! {Moon drops Shippo}  
Mercury: My computer says he's a demon of the fox variety.  
Jupiter: If he's a demon, I say we fry him!  
Shippo: I'm a good little demon.  
Mars: I say we just kill the demon and use his skin to make Chibi Chibi a coat  
Fieldy: Hey! This little guy gave me a ride and he's helping me find Jon! Don't kill him!  
Moon: Jon's missing?  
Fieldy: He was kidnapped by bigfoot to be made a loveslave!  
Moon: {Growls} If anyone's gonna make Jon a loveslave, it's gonna be me!  
{a lawyer taps Moon on the shoulder}  
Lawyer1: We'll be seeing you in court on Monday  
Mars: What the hell for?  
Lawyer2: {Holds up paper} You're leader, Sailormoon, said the words 'It's Gonna Be Me.' As I'm sure you know, that is a song by N*SYNC. You have no copyright, so our client is suing.  
Fieldy: Hey. Aren't you Metallica's lawyers?  
Lawyer1: Yes, and for saying their name, we will also see you on Monday  
Venus: Why are they suing us? We're just a bald guy, a fox demon and five beautiful girls in super short miniskirts  
Pluto: Six  
Lawyer2: True as that is, your bald friend said our top clients name  
Pluto: But don't you have to sue yourselves for saying N*SYNC?  
Lawyer2: No. They consider it free advertising and wish the name N'SYNC is said as many times as possible in this story. N*SYNC is great.  
Moon: But since I said the name of one of their songs, isn't that free advertising too?  
{Lawyer1 and 2 talk quietly}  
Lawyer1: Yes, Your charges are dropped.  
Mercury: But since you came under unjust presences, Fieldy's charges should be dropped as well since he would not have said anything about {dubbed voice}Metallica{end dubbed voice} had it not been for you coming here and giving Sailormoon a bogus law suit  
Lawyer2: Um...  
{Both Lawyers run away shouting N*SYNC}  
Venus: I finally understand why I like the Backstreet Boys better then N*SYNC  
{Backstreet's Lawyer walks up and hands each of them an official looking paper}  
Jupiter: Nick is suing us too? Oh woe is me! The cutest guy in the world in suing me because of my best friend!  
BSB Lawyer: We're not suing. These are 'thank you's for saying that the Backstreet Boys are better then N*SYNC. There is also checks inclosed. Sailor Jupiter, you may have this in addition to the check for saying that Nick is the cutest guy in the world  
{Jupiter gets a huge piece of pure gold}  
Fieldy: Thanks dude. Hey have you seen Bigfoot? he kidnapped my friend Jon to make him a loveslave. We need to find Jon ASAP  
BSB Lawyer: Nope. Sorry. me and my clients will let you if we see anything  
{Lawyers1 and 2 run by again screaming N*SYNC when suddenly they and Rob Zombie blow up in a ball of light}  
Vegeta: I've been wanting to do that  
Moon: Vegeta! Hey!  
Gohan: Hey bitch. How's my fucking fucked up fucker of kids doin?  
Moon: Little Joe is doing ok. The rest stole my mom's car and moved to Canada  
Vegeta: God damn those fucking fucked up fucks of grandkids  
Shippo: Thank God I'm not part of that family 


	3. Run Mr.Taliban

Carson:We're now back with a special update with Ozzy  
Ozzy:{he's standing beside Carson next to a large computer system}That's bloody right as you can see here we have come up with several possible leads to Jon's kidnapping{points to the large monitor}and not among them is Fieldy's Bigfoot loveslave theory among the most popular is that a crazed fan by the name of Lenny Carlson who at the age of 46 has no girlfriend and very large feet has kidnapped him and is forcing him to play private shows in his parents house's basement and only feeding him on pudding and he eventually plans to kidnap Courtney Love and make them breed  
Carson:This has been an MTV udpate  
  
{goes back to where everyon was on the road and Shippo is running around and going between the Sailors legs trying to get a good look up their skirts}  
Jupiter:{locks her legs around his head}  
Shippo:oh yeah she likes it rough  
Jupiter:{squeezes her legs together and Shippo passes out from the pressure}  
Fieldy:well I guess we're done here for now so how should wefind Jon? and how did you find me?  
Munky:Simple really you see we used the location device on the back of your neck to find you Jon put them all on us because we all got drunk one night and ran off and thats also how he wrote Freak On A Leash because we found you pissing on a butter churn screaming you were the king of Finland i've noticed we haven't been invited back to the Amish Country since  
Fieldy:What was Jon doing during all this?  
David:He was on the tour bus with that Amish chick you haven't seen the tape yet?  
Fieldy:Oh{lies}I saw that one I didn't know Amish bitches were like that she was a wild sl-  
David:What the hell are you talking about it was the Amish chick showing Jon how to churn butter  
Head:Yeah man quit picking on the Amish thats not cool{everyone else nods in agreement}  
Voice far off in the distance:Jerk!  
Fieldy:{cries and runs over to Venus}they called me a jerk  
Venus:{hugs Fieldys head to her chest}do you feel better now?  
Fieldy:{nods}yeah  
Goku:so now how should we find Jon?  
all of KoRn:to the KoRnmobile  
{batman logo from the original show pops up with Goku's head on it and they are all on the KoRnmobile}  
Vegeta:Munky what makes the fucking KoRnmobile so fucking special?  
Munky:what makes the KoRnmobile special you ask thats a good question you see it is assembled from the worlds most evil cars on earth it has Hitlers Limosuine's headlights,the car that hit Lassies breaks,Fidel Castro's ashtray,Charles Mansons vans rearview mirrors,and of course The Mystery Machines wheels  
Goku:The Mystery Machine wasn't evil   
Head:its wheels were  
Goku:oh  
Fieldy:can I drive?  
Head:ask David  
Fieldy:can I drive?  
David:ask Munky  
Fieldy:can I drive?  
Munky:ask Jon  
FIeldy:Jon's gone he was kidnapped by Bigfoot and you all know it  
Munky:Well then I guess you can't drive  
Mars:Can I drive?  
Munky:Sure but the cars really evil you'll have to sit on my lap so I can help  
  
{scene shifts back to the abbandoned highway and Rob Zombie's corpse is slowly pulling itslef back together and once he is fully reassembled he sees Shippo's truck speeding down the highway at him and he growls and jumps on the front of the truck and breaks the glass out the window and the truck comes to a halt throwing Rob through the broken window he sees Shippo in the carseat so he can see over the wheel and picks the carseat up and opens the door tossing him over the side of a cliff and he falls conveinently through the open sun roof of the KoRnmobile onto Moon's lap}  
Shippo:{looks up}hey babe  
Moon:{stands up and he falls to the ground not being able to move because he's still in the carseat}it's the talking thing again  
Shippo:{sees up Moons skirt and suffers a nosebleed like all the anime perverts}oh yeah thats what daddy wants  
  
{Rob Zombie can be seen riding the truck down the mountain mumbling into the CB radio thing and a sign on the side of the truck reads Black Sunshine as he drives faster downward}  
  
{the KoRnmobile has been driving for several days and they are now being guided by Ozzy via onboard computer with internet connections they have reached the sea now}  
Fieldy:KoRnmobile change!{everyone else starts to blow up a raft underneath the KoRnmobile and start out to sea towards the Middle East}  
  
{3 days later}  
  
Some News Guy:Here we are in Afghanistan we are now approaching Osama Bin Laden's camp  
{in the background the KoRnmobile can be seen speeding across the landscape doding the several bombs being dropped}  
Trunks:Where are we?  
Goku:Michigan I think  
Trunks:Are you sure this looks alot like Afghanistan  
Vegeta:{stumbles about drunkenly}Michigan Afghanistan there both the same lets all smoke some more of Fieldy's pot.Whoo! party{throws up on David}I am so fucking sorry man here let me get that{falls over into a pile of empty beer bottles}  
David:Is he going to be okay?  
Bulma:he's always this way when he hasn't had sex for a couple of days{drags him to the bedroom which happens to be where the computer is also}  
Ozzy:{pops up on screen}we have another possi--  
Bulma:oh yeah thats how I like it Super Sayian Size  
Ozzy:{watches and thinks:I'll just wait until their done}  
{Bulma and Vegeta continue for awhile and feel the bus stop but don't really notice}  
Goku:{is standing outside the KoRnmobile with several men in beards}hello my name is Goku  
Bearded Guy 1:We know who you are Osama enjoys American MTV we saw you at Black Forest Concert you are the idiot who can't crowd surf  
Bearded Guy 2:{pokes him with his gun barrel}you all come with us and meet our leader  
Goku:alright!{goes back inside and tells them to follow the bearded guys}  
Gohan:fucking ex-dad don't you fucking know who the fuck they fucking are?  
Goku:yeah they're a ZZTop tribute band  
Head:they don't seem like bad guys maybe we should follow them  
Munky:sounds good maybe they know what happened to Jon  
{the KoRnmobile follows them to Osamas camp and all of them except Vegeta and Bulma are forced off and taken to Bin Laden}  
Bearded Guy 1:Sir,we have brought the rebels like you commanded  
Osama:very good{looks at another bearded guy}give him his reward  
Bearded Guy 3:{shoots Bearded Guy 1}  
Goku:this is the worst ZZ Top tribute band ever  
Osama:silence when you are in my presence I am Osama Bin Laden  
Goku:{raises hand}  
Osama:yes?  
Goku:can I call you Bin?  
Osama:no  
Goku:what about Uncle Bin?  
Osama:no  
Goku:{aminute or two passes}ok Uncle Bin  
Osama:guards throw him in the prison  
Bearded guy 2&3:{drag Goku off to another tent}  
Osama:the rest of you sit there and behave until I decide what to do with you  
Fieldy:{gets up and wanders off while Osama is lecturing the Sailor Scouts about having to cover their whole bodies or else be stoned}  
Goku:{tears open the tent}I wonder if Uncle Bin knows people can tear his prison open{bumps into Fieldy}  
Fieldy:Goku am I a glad to see you I don't think this is a ZZ Top tribute band they want the girls to cover themselves up instead of take off their shirts  
Goku:you don't think Uncle Bin is gay do you?  
Fieldy:there's no doubting it Osama Bin Laden is gay  
Goku:Uncle Bin!  
Fieldy:sorry  
Vegeta:{wakes up}damn fucking fuck woman we fell asleep I fucking wonder where the fuckingest shitty fuck everyone fucking is  
Bulma:I don't know{looks out the window}I think they went camping  
Vegeta:this is no fucking time to fucking go camping{puts on his clothes and goes outside and sees two bearded men}  
Bearded men 4&5:It's a short man kill him  
Vegeta:{begins laughing insanely as the bullets fall off of him and he pulls their beards off and they run off crying begins to look around the camp and finds Goku and Fieldy}  
Goku:look its Vegeta have you met Uncle Bin yet?  
Vegeta:Kakarot what have you done now where are we?{more bearded men come up and surround them}  
Bearded men 6 thru 28:{take them off to prison and soon it's night and Goku tears the tent again and he bumps into everyone else}did Uncle Bin put you in prison to?  
Everyone:yeah but thanks to Mercury we're free and she has a plan to escape  
Mercury:the plan is quite simple when everyone is asleep we tie their beards together and make a loud noise so they all wake up and try to go different ways and their heads make that coconut noise when they all smack back together and then Vegeta kills them and we find Bin Laden and  
Goku:take him with us!  
Mercury:No!we have Vegeta kill him too  
{and so the plan is put into motion and before long all of Bin Ladens camp is in flames and Bin is running in circles as Vegeta emerges from the smoke}  
Vegeta:Big Motherfucker Ultimate Big Bang Gallit Gun Final Flash!  
Osama:Oh Sh..  
{a few days later they are back on the road er high seas not finding Jon in Afghanistan but not without taking a present}  
Goku:{holds Osamas turban}I can't believe this is all thats left of Uncle Bin..oh well{puts it on} 


	4. Cuz I Got High:The Legend of Fieldys Pot...

Chapter 4 is brought to you by Wicked Lady and viewers like you  
  
  
Carson: Folks. Courtney Love has been missing for two days now  
Courtney: No I haven't. I'm right behind you  
Carson: Don't scare people like that! You know very well I never look back there  
{Carson and Courtney start making out}  
Camera guy1: This is good stuff  
Camera guy2: Yea. Sure is. Can we show this on TV?  
Camera guy1: Dude, it's live. We ARE showing this on TV  
  
{Later that day, our heroes reach New York}  
  
{Bulma sneaks into David's tent}  
Bulma: Oh David! {jumps on top of David's sleeping form}  
David: AHH! I'm being attacked!  
Bulma: Quite! Do you want Vegeta to hear you?  
David: Bulma? What the hell are you doing in my tent? Get out!  
Trunks: Ah ha! I knew I'd find you here.  
David: Trunks! She jumped me! I swear I didn't do anything!  
Trunks: I know that. It's my mom that should be sorry. Cheating on Dad. Really mom. Bra isn't even a year old and you're already jumping people!  
  
  
Shippo: Damn. No one likes me. I knew I should have made Inu-Yasha my role model and not the dirty minded monk  
Pluto: I know how you feel. Nobody likes me either  
Shippo: What do you mean? You're hot. The tallest shout, not to mention tan  
Pluto: {looks at Shippo strangely} Are you saying you like me?  
Shippo: Yea. I am  
{Pluto grabs Shippo and kisses him}  
Fieldy: Hmm. There sure is a lot of kissing and lovey dovey stuff going on  
Venus: What do you mean?  
Munky: Carson and that Courtney Love chick started making out on TRL  
Mars: And just a moment ago Bulma jumped David.  
{Fieldy suddenly sees something}  
Fieldy: Hey! I thought Vegeta smoked all of this!  
  
  
Shippo: So. Pluto. How does it feel to have to have a fox demon as a lover?  
Pluto: Better then I thought  
Shippo: {Grins} And it'll get better with time. If you think I'm good at three, wait till I'm grown up  
Pluto: I hold the key of time. I don't need to wait. {Hits him on the head with the time key so that he goes from Three years old to Fifteen so that he's now the same age as Goten and the scouts}  
Shippo: Cool  
Fieldy: I'm the invisible king of Finland! Whooo!  
Shippo: Shit. He found the pot  
  
  
Venus: Fieldy's running around naked! My dreams are coming true! {Chases after the naked Fieldy as he runs around the tour bus} Come here King of Finland!  
David: Not again...{Shuts the door} So Mercury, any leads?  
Mercury: {Looks up from her computer} Well, yes. It turns out that the ink used in Jon's HIV tattoo is very rare. It was used on only ten people before the Government burned down the house in which it was made. I have picked the signal the ink sends off and since there are only ten people, we should be able to find him  
Moon: After we find him, can I make him MY loveslave?  
Gohan: Damn bitchy slut bitch. You the fucking mother of my god damn bastard kids!  
Moon: You did Videl!  
Gohan: So?  
Moon: She dresses like a boy! I can never love a man that sleeps around with girls that look manlier then Cape-boy!  
Tux: Hey! That is not-  
{Is cut off when Pluto stabs him through the chest with her time key}  
Mars: Pluto...why are you wearing the blankets like a toga?  
Shippo: Toga party  
Goku: TOGA TOGA!  
Moon: {Looks at Shippo} Who are you? {Shippo flips her skirt up} Oh yea {slaps Shippo}  
  
  
Zombie: I'm drivin his truck. Drivin his big ol truck. I stole it from little guy, at the break of dawn, now he and his friends are long gone  
  
  
{Shippo's demon ears pick up the sound of Rob Zombie making fun of the song he'd been singing when he was attacked}  
Shippo: You guys, I'll be right back  
Pluto: Want some company?  
Shippo: No. We'll mate again later. I have something that needs to be done  
Mars: Oh? And what would that be evil demon?  
Shippo: Kill Rob Zombie{dramatic music}  
  
  
Zombie: With this super rare ink, I will give myself the worlds coolest tattoo. The last person to have ever been given a tattoo with this ink was none other then the kidnapped Jon.  
{Shippo lands on the hood of the truck}  
Shippo: You fucking bastard. You painted my truck!  
Zombie: Who are you?...wait. You're that little guy that I threw out the window! How did you get so big?  
Shippo: I mated with the guardian of time. She let me grow up so people wouldn't stare as much when we makeout in public  
Zombie: If I fuck her too, will she let me live forever?  
Shippo: You dick! You paint my truck and now you wanna do my mate? Die!  
{Shippo uses his demon claws to stab Zombie through the eye}  
Zombie: AHHHH! Damn it little demon. I will surly die soon now. You cut my brain open. Please, before I die, will you give me a tattoo with this ink?  
Shippo: I'll give you a tattoo all right! {Stabs his other eye with the ink}  
{Zombie's head blows up}  
Shippo: Damn. Now I need to get the seats redone.  
  
Mercury: I have a lock! This match is only on the other side of that big rock!  
All: YAY!  
Moon: Hmm. So many choices. Do I want to put Jon in Handcuffs or ropes?  
Gohan: Damn fucking bitchy bitch of shit-  
Goten: Ten bucks says he passes out before he's done cussing her out  
Jupiter: You're on!  
Gohan: fucker fucking bitchy slut god damned-  
Trunks: Another ten says she doesn't notice  
{All three laugh and take out their money}  
  
Goten: I don't get it. This wasn't strip poker. How did she win all our clothes except our boxers?  
Trunks: Uh...That's the thing. She won our boxers too. I bought them back  
Goten: Really? Great! With what?  
Trunks: Uh...  
Jupiter: Now you're mine! {Grabs Goten} Hey Serena, can I borrow those handcuffs?  
Goten: You bought our boxers back with my body?! I'd rather run around naked then be the play thing for a beautiful, horny goddess of thunder...ok. Maybe this IS for the better.  
  
Goku: Hmmm. Oh wow! E really does equal MC²!  
David: Yea. I guess some old dead guys really know what they where talking about  
Bulma: You look really pretty when your mouth moves  
Mercury: Hello? Isn't anyone listening to me?  
Moon: I am, but Gohan isn't. He's cussing  
Gohan: Mother fucker. {Passes out now that he's done}  
Jupiter: Oh Goten, now you are mine. Your dad is dumb and your mom is busy with her grandson Little Joe so no one will look for you. You will finally learn why I am the scout of strength  
Mercury: STOP FLIRTING WITH EACH OTHER AND LISTEN TO ME!  
{Everyone stares at Mercury}  
Mercury: Better. Now we have joined together not to have an orgy but to save Jon from this person with big feet. Now to find him we need to track this ink stuff. There is a match just on the other side of that big strange rock. Now GO LOOK!  
{Everyone else except David runs off the bus}  
David: I never knew you where such a powerful speaker  
  
Moon: AHH! It's a headless guy!  
Shippo: Huh? Oh....um. Yea...uh, I gotta ask the bus driver something  
{Shippo runs toward the bus leaving a trail of blood from his claws}  
Head: He wasn't always headless. Look, there's a needle of some kind in what looks like an eye socket  
{Goku pokes it with a stick and the remaining ink explodes in a big fire ball and everybody dies!}  
  
  
  
  
{Just kidding}  
Munky: I get the feeling that who ever kidnapped Jon KNEW that Goku's childlike brain would want to poke that...thing, with a stick causing it to blow up in our faces so the blast would cover his/her tracks  
Ash: Golly gee willikers. It's strange people in funny clothes  
Moon: AHHH! It's a big yellow rat! I wish Jon was here to save me!  
Gohan: Fucking stupid bitch. I'm your god damn fucker husband! I'll do all the fucking fucktidy saving! {Kills Ash}  
Pluto: Hmmm. This is odd. That's the second person to show up out of nowhere. First Darien showed up on the bus and now the kid with the big yellow rat  
Misty: It's a pokemon  
Pluto: Hmm? Oh. My mistake...wait...who are you?  
Misty: I'm Misty. Who killed Ash?  
Gohan: I did.  
{Misty kisses Gohan}  
Pluto: As I was saying, there must be a reason for why. Why was only Jon kidnapped? Why do these people keep showing up out of nowhere? Why did my mate have blood on his claws?  
Goku: Hey...Didn't we meet Shippo after all this started happening? I mean, where was he in the concert? And why does he always disappear right before we find a clue?  
Venus: All the clues point to him.  
Jupiter: No they don't. They all point to my ex-boyfriend! he has big feet!  
  
  
Mr. Movie Megaphone: Next time, on KoRn and DBZ's Wacky Senseless Adventure Thing, will our heroes fight Shippo or look for Lita's ex? Or will they call the whole thing off to eat lunch? Find out next time on KoRn and DBZ's Wacky Senseless Adventure Thing! 


	5. A Momentary Lapse of Plot

Mr. Movie Megaphone:Last time on the KoRn and DBZ's Wacky Senseless Adventure some stuff happened and then some more stuff and finally more stuff and now we rejoin our heroes in KoRn and DBZ's Wacky Senseless Adventure  
  
{the KoRnmobile has left New York and they are now in lets see the dart I threw at the map landed on California}  
  
Goku:{is wandering the streets of Los Angeles alone}  
Security Guard:Hey!how'd you get in here this is a closed set  
Goku:Oh no the Fuzz!{hops in a nearby golf cart and drives off}Freedom!Freedom!{hits a sunset background}  
Director:Cut{hops out of his chair with his name on the back and runs over to Goku}you with the hair!you your-  
Goku:You'll never take me to the pokey{attempts to run into the sunset again}  
Director:no..your my new stunt double for Tom Cruise your stupid,muscular, and thats about all and thats why your perfect   
Goku:How much do I get payed?  
Director:Nothing  
Goku:Triple it and we have a deal  
Director:um alright  
Goku:Whoo-hoo  
  
{later that day}  
  
Goku:{is on break and sees a sandwich}food{steals it and eats it without taking off the plastic wrapper}  
Tom Cruise:hey Goku  
Goku:{swallows the last of the plastic wrapper}Hey Tom  
Tom:{grabs an extra and starts shaking him}dammit did you eat my sandwich{ stops shaking him and turns his head to see Goku dissappear around a corner and he grabs a Golf Club from nowhere and hops in his personal golf cart and chases him}  
Goku:help Tom Cruise is chasing me because I ate his sandwich!{runs through several movie sets and after about 20 minutes of running Tom has given up chase and returned to his trailer to cry}  
  
{Elsewhere everyone is sitting outside a Scottish themed restraunt named McDonalds and goes in when a girl with long blue hair in a leather outfit comes up to Goten before he gets in}  
  
Sasami:hey big boy looking for a good time?  
Goten:Sure  
Sasami:Its $50 an hour   
Goten:ah your a prostitute?  
Sasami:No shit!now you gonna give me my money or not?  
Goten:Bitch your like 9 or 10 or somethin  
Sasami:{starts crying}  
  
{from the shadows steps a skinny guy in a pimp suit and hat}  
  
Tenchi:you there quit messing with my ho's or i'll pop a cap in your ass  
Goten:why the fuck are you pimping 10 year old girls?  
Tenchi:they're much better in bed..but nevermind that now come with me I have something to show you  
Goten:its not another 10 year old prostitute is it?  
Tenchi:I can tell you're a man who likes older women come back to my place and i'll show you the full selection  
Goten:I don't wanna go with you  
Tenchi:{fixes his hat and jumps at Goten tackling him to the ground and forcing a red pill down his throat like in the Matrix}  
Goten:ay!what the fu-{passes out}  
  
{somewhere far away pretty much just a totally white room much like the gun room in the Matrix because this is the Matrix portion of the story}  
  
Goten:{wakes up in a white goo naked}godamnit I told her I wasn't looking for no good time  
Tenchi:{comes out of nowhere}  
Goten:damnit wha the hell did you do with me I hope this goo isn't what I think it is  
Tenchi:Welcome to the Ho Room we have a wide variety to choose from{turns around and spreads his arms and long rows come from nowhere}  
Goten:What the fuck?  
{From one of the rows comes a girl with silver hair}  
Ryoko:Me so horny!  
Goten:huh?  
Ryoko:Me love you long time  
Goten:speak english bitch  
Ryoko:Sucky sucky 5 dollar  
Goten:I don't have 5 dollar  
Tenchi:{pushes Ryoko back into the rack and pulls out Ayeka}  
Ayeka:{cracks a whip}get down on your knees and beg for me bitch  
Goten:{pushes her back into the rack}can I leave now?  
Tenchi:just one moment{makes the racks disappear and a stereo and chair appear}  
Goten:what the fuck you doin?  
Tenchi:{takes his hat off and presses a button on the stereo and a Village People song begins to play and he takes his tie off and throws it away then he begins to take off his shirt and swings it above his head}  
Goten:alright thats just about enough of that  
Tenchi:{tears his pants away so he's in his boxers and he begins to hump the back of the chair}come and get it big guy  
Goten:alright thats definitely enough of that{pulls the chair out from underneath of him and grabs the chair and beats him with then running off but finding no escape}   
  
{goes back to Goku who's running through the streets naked screaming insane things and running up a hill}  
  
Goku:Ahrahaharawahaglayvin{dances naked on top of the large Holly Wood signs H and falls off into a tree he then hops out of the tree and begins to slide down the hill singing the whole way}We can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind cause if they don't and if they don't dance then they're{hits a streetlight and is knocked unconcious}  
  
{Elsewhere...}  
  
Marilyn Manson:{walking along the roadside}lalalalalala{stops when he sees Rob Zombies blown apart corpse}look a puzzle{picks him up and takes him back to his home and begins to assemble him}foot bones connected to the something..red things connected to my wristwatch oops hope that wasnt important there we go its done hmm it looks alot like Rob Zombie  
Rob Zombie:{springs to life and breaks Mansons balls before killing him and begins searching his house for Jon}damnit Jon's not here I should've known that Manson was lying why else would he make such stupid demands  
Figure from the shadows:Foolish Zombie of course he never had Jon it was all just tricks he was nothing more than a puppet dancing upon my proverbial strings of evil you will never find Jon{geeky laugh then dissapears}  
Rob Zombie:No it can't be theres no way{stands stunned}  
  
{still elsewhere}  
  
Sailor Moon:Has anyone seen Goten?  
Gohan:Not fucking lately I bet the little prick got lost  
Vegeta:who fucking cares aren't we supposed to be looking for Lita's ex anyways  
Fieldy:yeah but we wanted lunch first besides Mansons house is here in Californey  
Mercury:why is Fieldy talkin like that?  
Vegeta:how should I fuckin know why he talks how he does where the hells that bitch Bulma I need some goddamn poontang  
  
  
To be continued...  
  
Next time in this story thing:Will the true enemy reveal themselves?will they search for Lita's ex?will they go to Manson's house and find him dead and then kill Zombie again?and possibly the most important question:Will Vegeta get godamn poontang?the answer is no for the last one I mean not the others those are maybes 


End file.
